| right then |
[20 Jun 2010|02:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
so i had planned to post an actual update a couple months ago and alas...the long ass entry i was writing got lost on a hard drive that died. i may try to recover it through some crazy engineering means but for now, i'll give the ultra-super-abridged version. my apologies to those expecting a lot of detail...i don't feel like writing a post that would take me more than 30 minutes to write. my previous copy was taking more than 5 hours and that's pretty ridiculous. yes i know i have a lot to write about and i'll try to make it as concise as possible.
my last entry was around august of 2007 mostly involving my friend, Jeremy's, wedding in Omaha, Nebraska as well as my ever ongoing development of various neuroses. can you believe it's been almost 3 years since i've had a real entry? and when i say "you" i mean "no one really" since i haven't posted a real entry since and i'm sure any of the few readers i had are now long gone.
these are generally in chronological order but there are some overlaps...continuing on...
|
|
| so... |
[28 Jan 2010|03:19am] |
|
my entry's taking a bit longer than expected. it's not a full book or anything but i only work on it when i really feel the need to. the last time i did that, even though it was weeks ago, i actually spent about 5 hours straight writing and editing it. i would say i'm about 50% done though. i'm getting there...
|
|
| yeah so... |
[20 Oct 2009|12:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
update coming soon-ish...
...yeah i'm serious...
...yeah i know it's been a while...
...yup i'm aware that i'm lazy...
...i know i know, i should've posted something a long time ago...
...yes i promise to update soon...
...
I PROMISE OK?!
|
|
| 10 years |
[19 Feb 2009|06:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
 R.I.P Patricia Ann Hurley March 12, 1981 - February 19, 1999 "I am the Resurrection and the Life: she who believes in me even if she die, shall live: and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die."
It's hard to believe it's been 10 years since that day. Some might say that I'm overdoing things by posting this every year but it's not for anyone else but me and maybe those that remember her. This will also be the last year I'll be posting this. It won't mean I'll forget...it will just mean that I don't need to remind everyone else about it.
|
|
| 9 years |
[19 Feb 2008|11:56pm] |
while i might be a little late in posting this...doesn't mean i forgot ya.
R.I.P Patricia Ann Hurley March 12, 1981 - February 19, 1999 "I am the Resurrection and the Life: she who believes in me even if she die, shall live: and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die." |
|
| you are still missed... |
[19 Feb 2007|05:01pm] |
8 years...
R.I.P Patricia Ann Hurley March 12, 1981 - February 19, 1999 "I am the Resurrection and the Life: she who believes in me even if she die, shall live: and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die." |
|
| greetings |
[02 Dec 2006|05:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drunk |
] |
Dear diary livejournal,
yes it has been a long time since i have written...i'm sorry. i wish i could say a lot has happened but...nothing has really changed. ok that's not quite true. things have changed but at the same time things have stayed the same. i'm still in school and over the past year that i haven't written, i've done a lot of thinking. yes i know that's no real surprise...i'm always thinking about something...but this time i think it's a little more serious.
first though i suppose i should sum up the past year...
school...other crap...school...
as for my birthday and thanksgiving...well i spent my birthday at my father's place with my father, stepmother, step aunt (i think that's what she'd be classified as), my grandmother, and myself. not exactly the best birthday as my father said one thing that bothered me. at least this year it was only one thing compared to a few. it was also a time for everyone else to converse as i sat there not comprehending much and not caring. as for my thanksgiving...i spent it alone. and yes i know a bunch of you reading this are probably saying, "wow...that sucks" among other things. believe me when i say this...i was better off spending it alone. i'm just used to it now as i've spent quite a few in poor company...my father being the main source. yes i know, "it still sucks" but you know what? i don't consider it that bad. why? because i've already made a promise to myself. the promise is this: If/When i have a family of my own...i promise to make it up to them for all the shitty holidays i've had in my life. i just feel i owe it to them...among other things in my life i'm not quite happy about.
that's primarily it. new stuff came up with my father but as some of you readers might know...it's not surprising. this new stuff i may go into at a later date...for the most part i'm over it. alright alright i'm not quite over it but with my father...again...not surprising so there's usually a lot of crap that goes with it. i'm still alive, obviously as i write this, and i'm still wading through my troubles. i wish i could say i do my best with even that but i'm not quite sure that'd be honest. i do what i can certainly...doing my best though?...no.
so i've been thinking for the past year...what my life has become and what it's leading to. i wish i could say for certain but as many know...there's no telling what tomorrow brings. many thoughts this past year...i wish i could write them all down here right now but alas...i'm drunk and the last thing i want to do is get over-emotional...which is a habit when i drink. not only that but i bet a good number of people thought i dropped off the face of the planet. again...i'm still here..trudging through life...and yes i know...i have a lot to speak about.
for the most part, i plan on writing varying thoughts in my journal. most of them will be my opinions and yes...opinions are certainly subject to change and i like to keep an open mind...what i'll write in the near future is only what my heart and mind say at this current time...they are always subject to change. i'm also aware of my over-usage of the elipsis...this is a habit of mine which means there's so much to say but either 1) it's too much to explain, or 2) i'm not quite sure how to explain it. in either case...the majority of anyone reading it can sympathize as all human beings can...while simple in certain aspects, can be very complicated in others. always varying and some things don't really need explaining anyway.
well that's for another time...
for the next numerous entries i plan on writing my opinions. again...i keep an open mind and anything i write is always subject to change. for those few that still read this i ask of you one thing...ask me a question...any question. i ask this because over the past year i've thought about much and it's too much for me to write about...and admittedly i can't remember specific subjects unless they're brought up. so if you have a question...ask. i'll answer with my honest opinion...and only my opinion. i'm not even sure why i'm asking...i guess it's a way for all my readers to get involved and also a way for me to get my thoughts out. no need to be afraid. if you have a question to ask and you feel it's too private...send any questions via email. daywonchoi@gmail.com all questions will be answered in their very own LJ entry unless sent by email...then only that person sees it.
in any case...i'll be writing more soon. if not for others than at least for myself.
Sincerely,
Daywon
|
|
| never forgotten |
[19 Feb 2006|06:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
7 years...
R.I.P Patricia Ann Hurley
March 12, 1981 - February 19, 1999
"I am the Resurrection and the Life: she who believes in me even if she die, shall live: and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die."
|
|
| lazy... |
[30 Dec 2005|12:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
this is my 2005 summary stolen from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) rrockrr who posted this on Myspace. the reason i'm doing this instead of going into detail is because my 2005 was pretty uneventful i think...here goes
January
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?: nope, they don't work for me
2. Who kissed you at midnight?: no one
3. Does it snow where you live?: occasionally...never on christmas though it seems
4. Do you like hot chocolate?: i used to...haven't had it in a while
5. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? no way! i guess since i was raised in the city, it's never been a big deal
February
1. Who was your valentine in 2005?: no one
2. What did your valentine get you?: N/A
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?: had those silly like $2 valentine's day cards
March
1. Are you Irish?: last i checked...nope
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?: never remember to
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005?: i was out drinking with my friends in a bar somewhere in manahttan
April
1. Do you like the rain?: usually
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year? no not this year
3. Do you get tons of candy on easter?: ugh...i hope i never do...having worked in a chocolate store before during this time was bad enough. if i ever have to sell another chocolate bunny, i'm killing someone
May
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?: hell if i know
2. Do you like the spring?: not too much
3. Finish the phrase: April showers bring: may flowers...lame part of this survey this is
4. What would you think of as a spring color?: green
June
1. What year did you graduate from school?: which school? high school? 1999 college? yeah let's not go there lol
2. Did you go on any vacations last June?: nope
3. Is your birthday in June: also nope
July
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?: i was...probably at a friend's house
2. Went on any vacations during this month?: nope
August
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer?: i guess if you call moving into my own place "special" then yeah...
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05?: not having to spend the WHOLE summer at school...only half of it this year
3. Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?: nope
4. Do you go to the beach a lot?: ugh...i hate sunlight. takes a special occasion for me to go to a beach
September
1. Did you attend school/college in '05?: i did
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?: out of my teachers this year? pffft fuck that...fucking engineering teachers
3. Do you like fall better than summer?: always do
October
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever?: an anime character, Sasuke from Naruto
2. What's your favorite candy?: i don't eat much candy anymore.
3. What did you dress up like this year?: i wore my ren faire costume for halloween....kinda sad maybe
NOVEMBER
1. Whose house do you usually go to for thanksgiving?: i don't go anywhere
2. Do you like stuffing?: almost always
3. What are you thankful for?: my friends
December
1. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?: never have
2. What do you want this year for christmas?: gadgetry as usual...i'm a geek
3. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?: you know...i have no idea
4. Do you like cold weather?: yes i do
5. How would you rate your '05 (1-10)?: 1
|
|
| You Know You're Korean When... |
[23 Dec 2005|02:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
Note: anything here that is in Bold applies to me...in Italics even more so. if Underlined, then it's true either by only one of my parents or another family member
You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now.
You or your parents start singing when drunk.
Your parents are shorter than you.
You call a korean older than you "Oppa/Hyung" or "Un Nee/Nuna"
Your parents think church is a social event.
"No-Rae-Bang" is a common household word.
Your main source of income is New Years.
Everyone asks if you're Chinese.
Your parents think anything goes with rice.
"Glue? Use rice, it’s better"
Your parents have never kissed you.
Your parents have never kissed each other.
Failing a class means finding a new place to live.
Your mom rents korean soap operas and watches them daily.
Sleeping on the floor is nothing new to you.
Your parents yell your korean name REAL loud in public places.
No matter how hard they try, your parents will never pronounce "wood" correctly.
You think ramen is the fifth food group. NEVER AGAIN!
You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.
Your family owns a dry cleaning place, liquor store, or grocery store.
Your mother has a short haired, curly perm.
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you're 12 when you're really 14.
You ask your parents help on your math homework and 2 hours later they're still lecturing you about how they knew it in 4th grade.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
You've had a bowl haircut in one part in your life.
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with ugly asian women attempting to dance in a temple or park.
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hotdogs.
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah) every time someone calls you.
Your parents insist you marry someone Korean.
People see a bunch of scribble on chopsticks and ask you to translate.
Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway, it’s good for you."
Your parents have either forced you to play the piano, violin, or both.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and other strange smelling substances for medicine.
Your parents read about some super nerd who has no life and got in the paper for scoring highest in the SAT’s and ask why you can't be more like him.
When an Asian girl with a white guy (or vice versa) walks by, your parents STARE at them with their eyes popping out.
When you go to buffets, your parents make you eat until you think you're going to hurl, and even after you do, they say, "good, eat more."
Your parents never participated in the "American" traditions of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. You'll say, "Where's Santa Claus?" and they'll reply, "Santa Claus! Ptch! He's dead!" And then you'll start crying.
After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one). You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your parents immediately think there's something going on.
You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to get that!"
You're proud to be Korean - and you pass these jokes on to all your Korean friends!
Another Note: the only reason i'm korean according to this is because my family's bat-shit loco
|
|
| one ren faire pic |
[26 Sep 2005|07:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
since i lost my camera, i can't take too many pics.
the only thing i got is a pic from someone else...enjoy
|
|
| i've been tagged... |
[21 Sep 2005|08:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
20 random facts about myself that people may/may not know:
1) i have small pinkies.
2) i've been having nightmares fairly frequently since may 2004...at one point it was so bad that i was afraid to sleep.
3) i can't sleep in a bed alone...too lonely. put me in a bed and not only will it take me forever to go to sleep, but i'll wake up every 30-45 minutes.
4) i pretty much grew up alone.
5) i've been depressed for almost 14 years now.
6) because of my almost constant stream of bad luck, i tend to feel as if i'd broken 129387127681264203989123 mirrors in a past life.
7) while i do wish i'd gone to my first picked college and graduated 2 years ago, i've grown a lot due to my experiences and i appreciate it while at the same time not because i feel old.
8) i have 2 siblings, a little sister that's 18 and a little brother that's 17, who are half black...and i haven't seen them in a long time.
9) my father, and most of my father's side of the family, lied to me about something very important when i was younger...actually "betrayed" would be a better word than "lied."
10) i first started talking to my biological mother when i was 18 and met her for the first time, along with my siblings, when i was 20.
11) i've never had a girlfriend before.
12) my father used to worry that i was gay when i was high school because i went to an all boys school and had no girlfriend.
13) sometimes i'll do things for others they don't realize until much later...and i don't mind one bit.
14) i learned to hide my feelings very well at a young age, it takes a very close friend who's very perceptive to tell if i'm hurting. well i'm pretty open about my feelings anyway...
15) i don't cry much or in public...but for me to cry is pretty severe.
16) i'm naturally extremely linear and logical but i fight it. a lot of what i think and say involve emotions and doing so also helps me be more understanding and caring.
17) i almost had both older and younger siblings...but two abortions took care of them...
18) my mother had tuberculosis while pregnant with me...and i have no idea what that did to my immune system because i get sick maybe once every few years.
19) i'm really gonna get pissed if i hear the "why can't my boyfriend be like you?" one more time.
20) not once in my life have i ever been truly happy.
start time 8:09pm
finish time 8:22pm
that means it took about 13 minutes to complete this which means i get to tag 13 people who i want to do it. but i'll just tag...EVERYONE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
|
| pre-semester entry |
[29 Aug 2005|07:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
WARNING: Semi-silly entry...and also kinda long
|
|
| right... |
[06 Aug 2005|05:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
stressed |
] |
so yeah i know i haven't updated in a very long time...like...almost 5 months and that's pretty odd even for me. lots of things been happening...yet at the same time not. i'm just writing to let everyone know that i'm still alive and kicking...barely...and i've just been going through some tough times. i'll explain when i get the chance. i don't know when i'll be able to write next. might be a few days...maybe a week...maybe more. though when i am able, i'll make sure to write a long winded entry that probably no one will read but it'll be an entry nonetheless and it'll explain some things. so...for now this is a goodbye.
nah i hate goodbyes, more like a "see you later"
for those that know how to reach me other than by computer, that's the only way you'll be able to reach me at least for the next few days. if you don't know how to reach me that way...well...guess you'll have to wait ¦Þ
see you guys and gals later and thanks for tuning in to the Daywon Channel...where nothing happens lol
|
|
| memories... |
[28 Mar 2005|05:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sentimental and reminiscent |
] |
no i'm not talking about those LJ entries you can organize into a little section so they're easier to find when you wanna re-read them. sight, sound, smell, taste, touch...feeling. those are the ones i'm talking about. why do i bring this up? because of these pictures...
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|
| hrm |
[20 Mar 2005|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
can't say anything special has happened with me since my last entry. i've been doing a lot of thinking these days. again, that's nothing new really, but lots of serious things...at least serious to me. i'd write some here but they're all unorganized in my head so i'm gonna take some time in the next few days to at least organize some of them...
lately i've been really really tired. much more tired than usual and i'm not quite sure why that is. feels as if all i've been doing is sleeping...i dunno why either.
also the whole "loneliness" thing has been getting to me more and more these days. i'll be just fine then all of a sudden i get sad and want to cry. (sigh)
and today i've been getting this nagging feeling that something's wrong...with someone. those of you that know me well enough know i get feelings like this every now and then but it was pretty bad today.
i just wish i could get answers or resolve things...but nothing's working. no answers as of yet...hopefully soon.
well...i guess in due time i'll get some answers...first step is to get things organized in my head. though, even if i do, doesn't mean things will get solved.
though one thing's been in my mind for a while...
"why can't i be happy?"
...
|
|
| greetings |
[03 Mar 2005|12:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
i promised i'd update more and i haven't...not that anything terribly exciting has happened...
( another snippet )
|
|
| another year... |
[19 Feb 2005|03:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
6 years...
R.I.P Patricia Ann Hurley
March 12, 1981 - February 19, 1999
"I am the Resurrection and the Life: she who believes in me even if she die, shall live: and whoever lives and believes in me, shall never die."
|
|
| ... |
[14 Feb 2005|12:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
...I hate Valentine's Day...
...Valentine's Day sucks...
|
|
| PJ Party |
[07 Feb 2005|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nostalgic |
] |
just to let you all know: i will be updating the album when i find more pictures to steal from other people so check back often! it might be easier for those of you coming in from the link on my AIM profile since i'll just update my profile saying when i updated. as always click the picture to see the album and login is not necessary to view it. feel free to comment but at least leave your name when you do so i know who you are. kthx
yeah that's the entry. there's other stuff but meh...not important. hope you enjoy the pics.
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|
| bout time right? |
[30 Jan 2005|08:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
melancholy |
] |
a lot of people have commented to me that i don't update enough which is very true since my last real upsate was in november. well besides the silly stuff like surveys and quizzes and all that junk...i don't really think i'm terribly exciting. i'll try updating more though. this will be a long entry...read if you care and got the time
( snippet of my life )
hopefully everyone else is doing well or at least better than i am. that's something i always hope for...but i think you all know me like that.
and eventually i'll finish up that autobiography thing i started last year...taking a lot longer than i thought it would. i'll write a post about it in my journal when it's done.
...til next time...
|
|
| since people requested i do this... |
[23 Jan 2005|06:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
melancholy |
] |
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. DayJuan
2. DayDay
3. D
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. dcc8199 (my first one)
2. fpasian (only for like a week)
3. YODAywon
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm a good guy
2. I'm have a good heart
3. I can actually say "I understand" and mean it
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm sometimes self-depricate myself
2. I can't stop thinking about what ifs.
3. I'm alone
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. American
2. Korean (by blood mostly)
3. Geek
THREE THINGS THAT YOU FEAR:
1. Being a failure
2. Being forgotten
3. Being alone
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Caffiene
2. My computer
3. My friends
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Long sleeve T-shirt
2. GAP "karate" pants
3. Boxer Briefs
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS:
1. Green Day
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. The Offspring
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (REALLY fits how i'm feeling these days)
2. Seether featuring Amy Lee - Broken
3. This (this is one of my many favorite songs from a video game i used to play...always brings back fond memories)
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Find hope
2. Being happy
3. Make people happy
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Honesty
2. Trust
3. Love
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (You be the judge...)
1. I have small pinkies
2. I have my nipplets pierced
3. I have brown eyes
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT EITHER SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. bewbs? (shrugs)
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Ski (i already got a skiing injury and i've never done it before)
2. Talk on the phone and type at the same time
3. Picture life without certain very special people in it
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Painting models
2. Reading
3. Thinking
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Graduate
2. Get the hell away from my father
3. Love someone who can love me back
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Work in video/computer game industry
2. Government agent
3. Maybe something with nano technology or some kind of interactive software/hardware
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Italy (Venice and Florence in particular)
2. England (i gotta go sometime)
3. Japan
KIDS' NAMES: (this is tough...i'll throw out some random ones)
1. Daniel
2. Michelle
3. Stephanie
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Know/hope that i've had a positive impact/affect on people and their lives
2. Not repeat my father's or mother's fate
3. Be happy
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
hrm...i think everyone should do it...NOW! ¦Þ
if i were to pick though... Lindsey, Inna, and Russ
|
|
| not much of an update... |
[05 Jan 2005|11:01pm] |
|
because it'd be much too long if i wrote a real one but that will come soon enough
for now...
just some pics i took for the hell of it
update eventually...
|
|
| so yeah... |
[25 Dec 2004|05:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!
hope all of you have good holidays!
|
|
| while i am preparing for my next serious entry... |
[04 Dec 2004|05:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
1. Reply to this post if you'd like me to tell you how cool you are. :)
2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock.
3. Post these instructions in your journal.
|
|
| (clears throat) |
[25 Nov 2004|01:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
HAPPY KTHXGIVING!
thanksgiving update to come later tonight. in the meantime i hope everyone has a safe and happy turkey day with your families.
...kthxbye
|
|
| the silly entry |
[08 Nov 2004|04:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
alright so where do i begin?
i guess i should start with my birthday. i turned 23 on October 1st for those of you that don't know. my father, my grandmother, and i went to dinner at a seafood restaurant in the city. i wish i could say i had a good time but my father was kinda grumpy at my grandmother for some reason...kinda put a downer on my night. though of course my birthday wasn't totally sour because i received a package from nikki in the mail earlier that day! i felt so loved and cared for...i felt very special. THANK YOU AGAIN NIKKI! the package made me happy. other than that my birthday was spent with my friends at school at the games club.
let's see...
the middle of the October definitely had it's ups and downs, more downs really, but despite them i'm still alive and well...or as best as i can be. so for those that worried about me, i thank you. your concern means a great deal to me
not anything very exciting here i know...
the next and last point of interest would be the halloween party i went to.
definitely had a good time at this party. i got pretty drunk off that punch they had. damn strong punch and i had like 8 of them. i was also like molested half the night by a girl lol. i hurt my leg and i also helped take care of some girls who had a tiny bit too much to drink. all this on very little sleep. but hey what can i say? i do things like that all the time. i think i collapsed too at one point though...i was really tired and gravity won. but still had a good time. it was great seeing all of you there and i can't wait for the next time.
as since this is a silly post i shall post something silly.
( Part one of silly post: The Girlfriend Application )
( Part two of silly post: Survey thingy )
more serious entry to come soon.
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| alright alright |
[21 Oct 2004|07:56am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
a real update real soon...i promise!
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| tsk tsk |
[13 Oct 2004|02:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
] |
i keep meaning to update and everytime i set myself down to do it something comes up...
right anyway i went to the Ren Faire again on the last day with a group of people from school. yes a school trip on september 26th...yes i know it's been like 3 weeks...yeah yeah gimme a break. pictures are below...click on the picture to see them.
real update coming soon
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[25 Sep 2004|07:17pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
] |
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| well then |
[03 Aug 2004|10:19am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
] |
looks like the copy of Doom 3 i downloaded works. didn't play it much though but i gotta say it looks fantabulous.
yeah i'll post a real entry sometime this week...maybe.
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| (sigh) |
[02 Aug 2004|12:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
so tired...still not sleeping well. got a test today...and a test tomorrow.
yesterday my dad yelled at me to get breakfast. when i got it i naturally didn't get a thank you or anything from him so i feel unappreciated.
can't wait for these summer classes to be over so i can enjoy the 2 weeks between them and the semester...where has my summer gone? so worn out...need caffine...caffine is my friend.
and in about 8 and a half hours, my Doom 3 download will be done...hopefully it works.
not much of an update...sorry...eyes hurt...maybe later...
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| drunken ramble |
[11 Jul 2004|03:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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drunk |
] |
well then. i had a pretty enjoyable night with a couple of friends and some new people. feels like it's taking forever to type this entry seeing as how i'm drunk and...uh...what was i saying? (scratches head) um...right so yeah my weekend is considerably better. the only thing that is still keeping me down is my father and whatever he said...i can't remember right now. well in any case yeah i definitely needed to get out of the house tonight and drink. made me feel better even if it was just 3 pints and a bottle of beer. (sigh) what a weekend...ups and downs...but i will not let what my father said to me get to me! i'm stronger than that...and my father's a donkey anyway. and the keys on the keyboard are making it hard for me to type...it's like they're dodging my fingers or something. i don't even know how i'm typing. the monitor keeps spinning...
oh and talk about nightmares! i had a few last night. one was me in the movie Tron. glowing discs comin at me from all directions. then another was with me being chased by binary...which is frightening let me tell you. ones and zeroes chasing me and me tripping over a karnaugh map and being devourered by ones and zeroes. ugh. there was even one where there were a few murders and i was running away. and of course there's the usual one of me being alone. just me on a beach at night with the sound of the ocean and me looking at the stars alone. (sigh)
thanks to all that have commented or even read my last entry.
and to finalize this entry i leave you two entries. one from SUNY Albany which is a retarded school and the subject of the link is probably just as retarded...and another retarded entry...kinda fits my state ¦Þ
http://albany.edu/news/releases/2002/june2002/gallupstudy0602.html
http://www.funkypages.com/breast_watching/index.php
thank you and good night
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| and then i disappeared... |
[09 Jul 2004|11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
seems like i'm doin everything wrong and everything's my fault. according to my father a lot of things are my fault. he even called me a self centered asshole tonight. and even with some people...i make them depressed or sad. it's not like i mean for anything to be my fault. it's not my intention to make anyone feel sad or depressed. i didn't know! i'm sorry! i feel like a failure. that nothing good comes from anything i do. maybe i am a failure. i've lost my hopes and dreams over the past few years...i've only got one hope left and even that's starting to fade. on countless occasions happiness has been just beyond my grasp and i've always lost it...always. i should just disappear so i don't hurt anyone or make anyone sad. i don't know anymore...all i want to do is cry...
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| yeah i know i don't update enough...so sue me |
[30 Jun 2004|03:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy |
] |
first i'd like to mention how much LJ's been retarded lately. slow page load if at all. second...no wait that was it.
been having more trouble sleeping lately. nightmares and/or plain unpleasant dreams keep popping up. tryin to get as much sleep as i can. it seems that when i go to sleep only when i'm extremely tired is when i don't remember any of my dreams. that's not healthy though...i gotta do something about that.
one of the nightmares is me missing one of my finals and me saying "OH NO I SUCK AGAIN!" while a bird shits on my head and i get hit in the face with a frying pan...don't ask...i don't know what it means either.
i can't really say much other than that. still miss nikki of course, that hasn't changed a bit.
and earlier tonight i found a whole bunch of old pictures of me and family that i thought i'd post if you would like to see them
( Pictures of old )
and in regards to my previous entry, i know it was unclear...school sucks. nothing more frustrating than trying to study something you don't totally understand for a final...which i thought was horrible btw. that and a mixture of thoughts like about the nightmares i've been having and the whole "me goin to korea next summer thing" UGH! i need a vacation...
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